One Way or Another

Everything always works out. Maybe not the way you planned, maybe not the way you wanted, maybe in a way totally expected or unexpected… but it always works out. One way or another.

After all the crap that has happened in my life, all the tragedies, mistakes, bad luck… I am somehow, some way able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if I can’t see through it. Even if I have no idea what might be waiting for me. I know there’s light. I know there’s a way things are going to work out.

It may suck at the moment, it may be awful, it may be hard… but I know that I’m going to get through it and that I’m going to be ok. Maybe it’s because I’ve had so many crappy things happen in my life that I’m able to see this. Maybe it’s opened my eyes to an optimistic personality I never knew existed within me.

It always works out… one way or another.

Daydreaming….

What do you dream about? What do you have on your wish list? What do you want more than anything else? For me it’s simple. I want to buy a house, finish school, have kids, eliminate my debt, buy a nicer car, have a better job in the legal field and travel when and where I want to and live ‘happily ever after’ with my husband – I guess they call that the “great American dream.” I don’t know about everyone else, but it sure is my dream right now.

I’m so close (within about a year’s time) but yet it feels so far away sometimes. It’s what I think about most of the time. It’s what gets me through the harder days, knowing that I’m almost there, that I’m working towards what I want and that I will have it sooner than later. I've already started looking at homes, floor plans, neighborhoods. I have a plan in place for our finances that should get us where we want to be by next year. I’m on track with school (well maybe not as quickly as I wanted, but Hey I’m gonna get there) and I’m really good at it. I know what kind of car I want – I just paid mine off and want a good two years without a car payment though. The financial plan will put us in a position to travel. My hubby and I have pretty decent communication most of the time on how to keep our relationship strong and happy. And kids…. well the jury (aka my hubby) is still out…. but at last talk it was stated “when we get out of the apartment we can discuss it” and that’s enough to get me by.

My dreams used to be a lot more “fantasy like” and extraordinary, but as I get older I want more practical things and I’ve learned that it doesn’t take much to make me happy. I just want what “everyone else” wants. So I’ll keep dreaming, keep working hard, and I’m sure it’ll be here before I know it. A year really isn’t that long anyway…..

Slow and Steady

In today’s society we are so accustomed to getting everything instantaneously and we take it for granted. We think we should get what we want, when we want it – but that’s not always the best way to acquire the things that you want. Sometimes you have to take it slow and steady, sometimes you have to really want it, really work for it in order to get what you want and actually appreciate it.

As my Nana always says “You make time, money, and effort for the things you really want that are really important to you.” If you want something or something is really important to you, you’re going to make time, money, or effort to see it through. This resonates with me in so many ways… mostly because it’s taking me some time to achieve my dreams and to get where I want to be in life. But because these things are important to me, I’m doing whatever it takes – sacrificing time, money, and effort – just to get it.

Whether it’s losing weight, buying a house, finishing school – whatever your goal is, whatever is important to you it’s worth it to make it last and to get the most out of it by taking it slow and steady. The results usually last longer and are more substantial.

What if I don’t want to make lemonade?

That old saying that everyone knows……  “when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” Sometimes you can’t make lemonade. What if you don’t have a pitcher, or sugar, or water, or a knife to cut the lemons with, or a spoon to mix it all together? Then you’re just stuck with the lemons. Now what do you do? You don’t make lemonade, that’s for sure.

Eat the lemons, hand ‘em back, throw them at someone else. But you’re sure not making lemonade unless you have all the necessary ingredients and tools. You’ve got lemons and that’s it.

I definitely don’t have the answers on how to deal with the lemons, because well, lemons are sour. Sometimes I leave them on the counter. Sometimes I carry them in a basket on my shoulders until they wear me down. Sometimes I pretend I don’t see the lemons. (not usually the most productive) Sometimes I distract myself from those lemons, find something else to concentrate on. Sometimes I ask someone else what to do with the lemons. And every once in a while I make lemonade, IF I have all the ingredients. Sometimes it takes a while to accumulate all the ingredients and tools to make lemonade. Sometimes you just have to wait out the lemons, hope they rot and you can throw them out.

Any way that you decide to deal with the lemons is up to you, but you have to know that lemons always end up on your plate or in your glass. You can’t ever escape the lemons, you’re going to have to deal with them, even when you don’t want to. Make lemonade, if you want to, but deal with the lemons.

Communication and Compromise

We all know, or should know, that communication is the key to any relationship. But it’s not as easy as it sounds. Some people are not great communicators, to no fault of their own, that’s just how they’re wired. Some people are great communicators, almost to a fault. The rest of us, well the rest of us are stuck somewhere in between. We want to communicate, we want to talk things through, and we do to an extent but it may not always come out the way that it should. So you have to figure out different ways to communicate your message. Sometimes it’s the recipient of the communication, sometimes it’s the message itself, sometimes it’s the communicator.

How do you communicate with someone who communicates differently than you do? Do you give up on the communication all together? Do you try to force them into communicating the way that you do? Do you try to force yourself to communicate the way they do? Or do you try to find some common ground of communication, something you both can relate to and understand?

Most people would say that there’s no compromise if there’s no communication. But is that necessarily true? I think that both people can be compromising in their own way and not necessarily getting the message across to the other person. I think two people can be having the same conversation without actually having the conversation if they understand each other. Ultimately I think that actions speak louder than words. I think that you can communicate with someone by showing them that you understand what they’re saying.

One thing that people misperceive is that communication is not always verbal or written. Actually a lot of communication is physical or visual. Words themselves are not always necessary. Find a different way of communicating in your relationships than what you are already using. Whether its with your significant other, your siblings, your parents, your friends, or the general public. Try out different methods of communication with different people. I think we will all find that one method of communication is not always successful with each individual person.